I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize