The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
