i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize