my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
