bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
