But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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