Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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