I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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