Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
