i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
