he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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