I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
