She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
