it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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