I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
