apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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