The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
