Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
