all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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