you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize