Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
