She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
