What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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