We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
