Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize