I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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