; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
