...so i touched it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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