Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
