i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
