he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
