My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
