Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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