Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
