I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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