I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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