My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize