i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will be naked everywhere
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
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