I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
