Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
