New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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