i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
