but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
