Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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