hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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