Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize