My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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