we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This house was built for laser tag.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize