he wants to bone in the snuggie
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize