I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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