i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
