I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
