Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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