I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize